My year of “One Year to an Organized Life”

If you have been following this blog you already know I have spend the past year working my way, month-by-month through the book “One Year to and Organized Life” by Regina Leeds. Today is the final post in this series, but I know it is not the end or my organizational journey. Seeing as my house has 2 children and 2 dogs there is a large chance I will refer back to this book for organizing refreshers.

It is more the just cleaning up

What made me start on this journey was the fact I live in what is considered a small home by today’s, but it was filled to the brim with stuff. Did I want this stuff? At first I didn’t even know.  What I came to find out was this stuff was more like insulation. A physical barrier preventing me from tackling the emotional “stuff “that lie beneath it all. What started as an organizing project became so much more emotional and introspective then I even imagined.

I know there had been a lot of talk about Maria Kondos “Life changing magic of tidying up,” as being the new organizing book this year, but I don’t think it would have accomplished the emotional or physical changes this book brought me to.  What first drew me to this book was the pace. Each chapter was divided into a single month and each month divided into four weeks. The chapters are summarized with clearly outlined goals to work towards. It felt clear, consist and, most of all, doable.  I could take it one step at a time.

Starting in the kitchen

The first month started with the kitchen. It seemed a totally daunting task. Each cupboard was filled to the brim with cups, utensils, extra plates, cake decorating items, and miscellaneous kitchen items. Add to that a pantry packed full with couponed discount items I had not found a use for. It drove me crazy!  To reach anything, 6 or 7 other panty items had to be removed or moved out of the way to get to the one thing I needed. Uggg!

Nothing was grab and go or readily available. It was a hassle to take out any ingredients, bowls or equipment. Making any recipe took twice as long to prepare and was a pain to clean up. The idea of cleaning and organizing all of this seemed overwhelming.

The book started off having you change one small habit. By doing this one thing, it had a cascade effect, helping me tackle other habit-changing tasks in the kitchen. These small changes grew until eventually I cleaned, organized and even painted this formerly unmanageable space.

Emotional clean up and organizational therapy

This bit by bit approach helped move me through my home. Tackling area by area, emotion by emotion, each organizational issue that had been holding me back. There were so many epiphany moments in this organizational transformation for me and my family. The two that stand out the most are the closet clean out and garage organization.

Image found on Pinterest

During the second month of the process I tacked the garage. It was a huge job but what I found harder was coming to terms with letting go of my children’s baby stuff. If was so emotional to let go of the items that represented my children’s baby years. Once I did I found acceptance and enthusiasm for the people they were growing into. It was a full on emotional transformation.

Crazy huh? Who would have thought cleaning out the garage would have brought all this on but it totally did and this book helped me put these feelings into perspective. Part of the journey was keeping an organizational journal. At first I thought was a bit much, but soon found out it was an indispensable part of processing your feelings, your space and letting go of stuff. This was transformational.

“Our” Home

Another area where I had surprisingly strong emotions was cleaning out my closet. Due to our limited storage I found many of my husbands work awards and achievements shoved into the back of the closet, hidden. I thought about how this might have been a reflection on the space we shared together. Were my things, and my style taking over our shared space? If someone looked would they know he lived here? This process helped me to recognize our space should represent “us” not just “me.”

After cleaning and rearranging the items in the closest I created a special wall to displayed his awards and accomplishments. I wanted him to know how proud of him we are and how important he is to our family. My husband, who is as emotional as a brown paper bag, was really touched by the effort.  Honestly, I would have never recognized this concept on my own. This book not only helped me organize my closet, but made my marriage stronger.

The use of this book has been like going through my own personal therapy. While sorting through stuff, I sorted through a lot more emotion then ever anticipated when I picked up this book.  It was as if the author, guided me through a personal transformation. There is a kind of sadness in having this journey come to an end.  The need to reorganize and sort my home from time to time. It is more that I will no longer have the same type of discovery of myself, this space and these things the way I did as I progressed through this book.

It is only stuff

At the end of the book, the author shares the biggest discovery a reader can make. What she states and what I have come to understand is, “it is only stuff.” It is not your memories. It is not your relationships. It is not the people that have come and gone in our life. That crib, the “special” chair, the collection of teddy bears you have, they are only things.

The emotion your feel towards them.

The memories you put in them.

The people you associate them with.

They are all in you. You are your space. You are your home. You are your family. Your life isn’t the things you collect, clean or organize. It is experiences, people and moments you live. Things don’t create these feelings. You do.

Thank you Ms. Regina Leeds for writing this and for letting me get to know you and myself through your book.

See the links below to catch up on all of the “One Year to an Organized Life,” posts.

• Month 1:Kitchen
• Month 2: Garage
• Month 3: Bedroom
• Month 4: Paper Organizing
• Month 5:Bathroom
• Month 6: Travel
• Month 7: Memorabilia
• Month 8: Kids
• Month 9: Moving: Skipped since I was not moving anytime soon
• Month 10: Dining/Living Room
• Month 11: Holidays

 

Organizing Month 11:Clearing out Holiday Stress

With the end of November comes my second to last installment of my walk through the book “One Year to an Organized Life,” by Regina Leeds. So far in this series we have tackled emotional and physical clutter and it has made all of the holiday activities so much easier. Here are links to the spaces we have organized so far; Kitchen, Garage, Bathroom, Bedroom, Paper Organization, Memorabilia, Travel, Kids Rooms, Living/Dining Room.

The author said it but I didn’t really believe it until Thanksgiving came upon us. She stated after creating organizational habits throughout the house this year your home will now support you during the holidays instead of sabotage you. She was totally right!

The freak-out begins

Every year about two weeks before Thanksgiving, I start to get anxious. I start to freak out imagining all that has to get done before Thanksgiving. Creating lists upon lists or what needs to be cleaned, purchased and cooked.  Tending to take on way to much this time of year, the process of prepping for the holiday’s makes me over complicate all of these things.

I worry will there be enough food? I envision how messy my house will be for guests.  Not to mention the time it will take to shop, prep, cook and clean the house, while still having to work a full-time job. Add to that the anxiety of seeing Christmas ads all over the place by early November. Are they kidding I haven’t even gotten through Thanksgiving yet and I’m already feeling the pressures of Christmas shopping?

Turkey, family and flooring oh my!

Well, to my surprise this year that didn’t happen when by all reason it should have been worse. See, about two weeks before Thanksgiving we were scheduled to get new flooring installed through almost all of our home. This renovation was scheduled for October but had to be postponed due to Hurricane Matthew.

Not only did I have my entire house in shambles, I had no floor for about a week and a half before the big day. Almost the whole house of furniture was packed into three bedrooms and we were still living in it! So roughly about four days before Thanksgiving, I had to put my entire house back together.

Still we could not move all the furniture back completely until the baseboard’s were done THE DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING. What? When I should be prepping, cleaning and cooking I had to move furniture.

The weird thing was, this year I was not stressed. I truly believe all of the work of de-cluttering had played a large roll in this lack of the anxiety I have come to associate with Thanksgiving.

In fact, once the floor was installed we realized how much nicer our home felt with less stuff. As we moved in some furniture, we uncluttered more and decided to get rid of pieces to make our small home feel more open.

During the renovation my kids and I were stuck in the bedroom and front yard for much of the time. I took this opportunity to further pare down my children’s belongings and tackled the scrapbook cabinet I had mentioned in a prior post. Getting rid of toys, cloths, and video games I missed on the first go around. Once that was done we moved on to Thanksgiving.

What was Thanksgiving like as a kid?

The first section of this chapter, in my view, is the most important. Surprisingly it has nothing to do with organizing your physical space. Instead it deals with confronting where your holiday stress comes from and setting your intention for this years celebration’s. This might not seem like a big deal, but it is huge.

It starts with several journal questions that dive into what your holiday was like as a child. They seem like simple questions at first but help you to discover some thought patterns that may be trapping you into a certain way of thinking about Thanksgiving.

Growing up my parents hosted Thanksgiving. My mom and Dad where really good cooks and dinner was always delicious. However my cousins, who would come over, had a beautifully decorated and immaculately clean home. My family… not so much. I remember being the only one to clean the house before Thanksgiving because I was embarrassed. To me our house was always a mess, our furniture was old and out dated. It was nothing like the clean, well-kept home my cousins had.

Looking back I realized my parents were more concerned about the food they prepared and the family time we had.  They were never much for appearances. Not having a ton of money or time, they felt these resources were better spent on providing a great meal, not on the appearance of the house.

However, after answering these questions I discovered the majority of my Thanksgiving stress was generating from this memory. It was not in the food preparation so much as the house cleaning I worried over. It was so difficult to keep the house clean to the way I wanted with two dogs and two children.

Mom, we really didn’t need a 20 lb Turkey

The other thing I realized is I completely over spent and over-cooked for Thanksgiving dinner. Every year I would watch my parents prepare Thanksgiving enough for 30 people when we where only 10. One year my mother even bought a 20 lb turkey! So growing up I always thought this was the way Thanksgiving was done.

This discovery was made when I was making my Thanksgiving menu, something that the author advises in the third section of the chapter. Going down my list, noting all of ingredients to shop for there was a nagging feeling to make this list longer. Eventually my husband asked why I was trying to make Thanksgiving stressful for myself by adding more to do? He was totally right. I didn’t have the time or the energy to add more and why did I feel like I needed too?

This Thanksgiving we had a wonderful time and I actually got to spend it with my family instead of in the kitchen. I allowed myself to take some shortcuts and help by purchasing cake and pie instead of making it myself and let my husband do the clean up.

Thanksgiving isn’t suppose to be about stressing out, or having an immaculate home filled to too much stuff. It is about family and making memories. So this year I am setting my intention on that.

[ctt title=”‘The holidays are about families celebrating together-the holiday is not supposed to be perfect,’ ” tweet=”‘The holidays are about families celebrating together-the holiday is not supposed to be perfect,’ ” coverup=”bla8Z”]from One Year to an Organized Life by Regina Leeds.

Organizing Month 4 – Zen and the Art of Sorting Paper.

Organizing Month 4

This year one of my goals was to get my house in order. To do that I am working my way through the book “One Year to an Organized Life.” So far I have gotten though the kitchen, bedroom, and garage. This month is tackling paper. Ok, I know it doesn’t seem like a lot compared to the mammoth garage clean out, but anyone who just waded through a mountain of paper to file the taxes knows this can be a monstrous task. It was also an emotional clean-up of sorts and really made me think of the reasons why I do things and how to do them better.

This month’s organization started off easy enough. I pulled together all the leftover bills, pay stubs and miscellaneous paper that had been lying around and gathered them up into a pile. A big pile! How long had I been letting this go for? Week one was all about figuring out why we organize or don’t organize our paper, what it says about us and our history. It seems funny that so much can be determined by the way we file our bills. There is always emotion attached to money and this is no exception.

Growing up I remember my dad filing all his expenses and deductions in a black and white composition book. When I first lived on my own I followed his lead and created a ledger where I meticulously recorded money in and money out. That all changed when I became a mom who worked full-time time. I just never seemed to have the time to file and record things properly. This resulted in overdrafts and late payment. I have since found a way to automate most of our bills. Now I record our transaction easily in an online budgeting program. (The modern day version of the composition ledger book my dad had.) What I realized during this time was that I felt overloaded with responsibility after having children and just simply didn’t want to deal with the bills and paperwork. I felt overwhelmed and did not want to know where our money was going.

As my children got older and we still were running onto overdrafts and shortages I realize I had to get back to managing the finances but had difficulty being consistent. That was until I discovered the online budget. If you are having difficulty getting control of your paper bills and expenses, maybe remove the “paper” and start doing things online.

Week two the author moved into electronic accumulation, multi-tasking and delegating (outsourcing). This was a big deal for me. A working mom’s most prized resource is time. I know I don’t want to spend it sorting emails, and doing laundry. She makes the suggestion to outsource some tasks. This is starting to come into play in my house as I no longer want to be “house elf,” (yes a Harry Potter reference) to my family.

The author also addresses two big emotional hurdles that I struggle with almost daily, multi-tasking and saying “no.” She goes into detail about what overdoing multitasking really does to you.

[ctt title=”‘When you splinter your focus like this, you fry your nervous system.’ – One Year to an Organized Life by Regina Leeds” tweet=”‘When you splinter your focus like this, you fry your nervous system.’ – One Year to an Organized Life by Regina Leeds” coverup=”a8ra5″]

She recommends keeping a journal to record how you feel after multitasking. I discovered that I feel well…fried. I feel like if I stop being in constant motion then the tiredness will overwhelm me and I will never get up off the couch and never get anything done. When I reviewed my multi-tasking ways, I realized that this is the reason I crash on the couch at 8:00 pm and pretty much can’t get up again. I need the downtime to recover from a day of ridiculous multi-tasking mania.

The chapter also addresses the art of saying “no.” Here we go with the guilt again! Yes, everytime I have to say no I am overcome with guilt. This is due to a codependent upbringing. For more on this check out my “It’s not a problem in you” post. I will not go into to much detail as I am trying to recognize and overcome this way of being. Only to say that I have said “no,” several times this month and have felt a bit less stress in my daily schedule.

The final week of the month we actually get down to sorting out paper and putting in place various systems to deal with paper clutter in the future. I set up hanging folders and sorted all my paper piles into the appropriate folder and discarded various envelopes, expired coupons and flyers that had been lying around.

I now check the mail daily and immediately trash anything that is junk mail. I also have stopped most magazine subscriptions that I never read and gotten rid of old manuals and warranties that were taking up space. I have also set up a system to wade through my emails. I unsubscribe, delete and sort at least 10 emails a day. (I get an average of 25 daily) It’s not perfect but it’s a start.

That’s the thing about paper (and electronic) clutter. If we deal with it from the start then it doesn’t get a change to accumulate. As for the emotions around being less of a  multi-taking and saying “no” more often, it is like a muscle and if we start using it a little everyday, it will get stronger. We just have to start.

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Organizing the Garage: Letting go of the Past

Getting organized is one of my goals this year. To do this I am working my way through “One Year to an Organized Life,” by Regina Leeds. This book is helping to guide me in my efforts. So in January, Month 1, I tackled the kitchen, see that post here. Month 2 would have been the bedroom. However, I changed things up and decided to take on the garage/laundry area. This area was not slated to be done until May but being in South Florida I envisioned myself passing out from heat exhaustion in a sweltering Florida garage with no A/C.  So to avoid a trip to the hospital, I moved it up on the schedule and completed the area in the much cooler month of February. The adaptability of the process is one of the things I really like about this book. It gives you guidelines, but you can adapt it to fit your schedule and your needs.

 Once I made the decision to take on the garage, I stood in the doorway of the space and realized what a huge job I had taken on. When we moved into this house almost 7 years ago we could park a car in there.  Now it is stuffed to the brim with stuff! Baby stuff, work stuff, cake stuff, kid’s stuff. Stuff everywhere.

I looked to the ook for guidance and it did not disappoint. The first section is titled “Plan of Attack,” which is exactly what I needed for this area. Otherwise it was just overwhelming. I broke down the space into areas of focus based on what we actually use in here. What I found was mounds and piles of unnecessary garbage we just hung on to. Dividing the garage into 2 main spaces I got down to business.  The laundry area and remaining garage where each tackled separately, as if they were separate rooms. (They might be in your house.) Then, I draw up a plan on I would arrange the remaining space.

Once I got a handle on what areas and items would remain, I mapped out where I would store these items. As I progressed towards the back of the garage I scanned the “stuff” for items to donate and throw out. We had a large refrigerator that was intended for use in my cake decorating but had never been moved close enough to an outlet to plug in. We also had a spare dryer that we purchased when we thought out other one was broken. It turned out we only needed the hose cleaned out. (And know the hubby will not let me get rid of the 2^nd… just in case.) I also found a ton of miscellaneous items like picture frames, toys, and household items that had been thrown in the garage and left for dead.

In the far back of the garage, leaning against the far wall was a honey-colored piece of furniture I had not seen in almost 3 years. My eyes began to tear up at the site of it.  There, behind the tools and sports equipment was my son’s crib. When we first moved into this house my daughter was still in it. We then put in in the garage to save for the 2nd child we planned to have. We dragged it out of this very garage to put my sweet baby boy asleep in. It still showed the teeth marks from both children. As I stood there my mind recalled all of the mornings I would be greeted by the smiling happy baby faces that awoke in this crib. I remembered the long nights getting up to check on them and rubbing their forehead until they fell asleep.

My son is no longer an infant or a toddler, but a 5-year-old and this crib was no longer needed in our house. I realized that I had let this area get totally out of control because I did not want to see the crib, hidden in the back of the garage under other items. I didn’t want to face the idea that I would not be having another baby in the house. That my children were growing up.

After shedding some tears about this revelation I came to terms with why I needed to let it go Life is meant to move forward and our house must change with my kids. In order to make space for the new items my they were using like their bicycles, scooters and beach toys, I needed to say goodbye to old items that outlived their usefulness. If I don’t get rid of these things from the past there will be no room for the items they use now. I had to let go of the past to make room for the today.

So I made the call to donate the crib. After that I took on the rest of the garage piece by piece. Moving out all the tools and paint, clearing of shelves, vacuuming and removing broken items. By the end of my first full cleaning day, I had five large black garbage bags of trash. I moved the refrigerator into a useable space near a plug and set-up a new shelf for my cake supplies and seasonal items.

The next day, I continued the clean up with another two bags of trash. Discovering two old bicycles that could also be donated. My back was killing me but it was worth the sense of accomplishment I felt.

The next week, while I was at work the donation pick-up took place and by the end of the day the crib and other items we’re gone. Even though I still felt sentimental for the crib for first time in years I could see the floor of my garage. I mean I actually could walk from one end of the garage to the other in a clear path, without tripping over stuff, and knocking over piles.

The final part of the job was reorganizing what was left. I repurposed containers I already had to place tools, and other items in. I also set up a separate area for my cake supplies that made things go much smoother when I needed to find pans or tools. During the reorganized of the laundry area I discovered four unused bottles of detergent I didn’t even know were there.

It was a long process and I was really tired by the last week of February, but clearing out the garage was a lot more cathartic and intense than I ever expected it to be. In letting of items from the past, I made lots of room for future mental clarity. Having a nice organized space instead of a chaotic mess has made doing laundry almost enjoyable… almost. Who knew cleaning out the garage could be so emotional? 

 

 

Throwing crap away…so refreshing!

Out with the old and in with the new. Today is clean up day in our house. Today I de-Christmas the house and bring it back to it’s  normal non-holiday appearance. No more bits of wrapping paper and tape on the floor. No more holiday knickknacks, no more red and green. I use to be sad about de-Christmasing but after a full holiday season sometimes it’s good to get back to routine.

This is also the beginning of my year long organization. When I say out with the old I’m not joking. I spent the morning going through my kids rooms and getting ride of old toys they don’t play with, broken bits of things and other miscellaneous junk. I also went through the closets and prepared all there old ill fitting clothing for donation. Now I can fit in the new toys and clothing that they got for Christmas. My house is small so this is a necessity. Plus it is so refreshing to see everything neatly hanging in the closet (at least for one day.)

It not just the kids room that get a good clean up. It’s back to healthy eating as I declutter the pantry of all the cookies, candy and chocolate I have been drawn to snacking on over these past few months. They have slowly eeked there way back into my diet.

Each time I used the excuse, “oh it’s the holidays I can allow myself a little. That little bit became more and more until my eating habits became atrocious and my body felt awful.  New year new you I say. So I’m cleaning up my eating all over again, starting with my pantry. Then I’m heading to the store for some healthy food prep for the week.

There is a lot more to do to get organized. I plan on following a chapter a month in “One year to an Organized life” by Regina Leeds. I like the pace of the book and think I can actually follow through with it this year. I think today is a good jumping off point. Right now I am motivated and ready to get some clutter out of here.

So needless to say the garbage men will hate me come Monday, but my house, my mind and my body will be renewed, cleaned and refreshed to face the new year.

 

Emotions In My Closet

Recently, I overheard a conversation by several coworkers about the closing of a clothing store they frequented. The were despondent. I mean really upset. As if a relative had died. This got me thinking about our attachment to things. How much meaning things play into our lives. I mean, I know when I go into Target, I have a difficult time passing by the little red stickers that say Clearance. I can’t count the number of times I have purchased something I really didn’t need because it was on sale.

This summer I have been playing around with a few moderation experiments, the 21-day fix, budgeting and outsourcing. Now I have been thinking more about simple living. I wanted to examine moderation from a consumer perspective. To me simple living and moderation go hand in hand. In simplifying we removed emotional and physical clutter from our environment. With moderation we struggle not to add it all back in. The conversation by my coworkers got my mind overflowing with images of my own closet, now disheveled and in disarray.

It is hard for me to think it was only months ago I had “simplified.” I purged, organized and even painted my closet. But here I was months later, back in the same state. Why? Why was my closet full again? Why did I need to purchase a bunch of ill-fitting new garments simply because they were on sale? Did my uncluttered, near empty closet symbolize some kind of void that needed to be filled with more things? Why, after all the hard work of purging, did I again have a new bunch of clothes and shoes I didn’t wear?

After contemplating this for a while I decided to challenge my perception of my overflowing closet. I did not have the energy and time to go thru another painting, purging and organizing session. So I looked towards simple living for the answer. When living simple you make use of what you already have. Well, I had a bunch of clothes already. I just had to use them. So I decided to stop buying new clothes. Just stop. How long would I keep this up? So far it has been two months. I’m hoping to last until at least the Christmas season.

But what I have found was that I had plenty on hand to create new outfits. Plus I had discovered items that I had rarely worn and found new ways to make use of them. I also ventured into wearing some things that I had previously felt self-conscious in. A skirt I felt made my butt look big, I actually find comfortable now. A dress I had rarely worn worked perfectly as a beach cover-up.

I discovered that this clothing purchasing ban was less about the items and more about how I felt in them. On days where I felt less confidence, I would look to my old stand-by’s. As my confidence grew, I would experiment with other less frequently worn items. Could it be I was using clothing purchases to mask these feelings? Don’t really know yet. I know this band won’t go on forever but maybe it will help me figure out what I really need and what is just filling my closet.