In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Inspiration.”
Archive for July, 2015
I am so excited. Just created a community page on Facebook. I’m still new at it but I’m slowly discovering this social media thing. Come like my page and leave a comment about where you find balance.
- Leave a link to your page or post in the comments of this post.
- Reblog this post. It helps you, it helps me, it helps everyone! So don’t be selfish, hit the reblog button.
- Edit your reblog post and add tags (i.e. reblogging, reblog, meet n greet, link party, etc.), it helps, trust me on this one.
- Share this post on social media. Many of my non-blogger friends love that I put the Meet n Greet on Facebook and Twitter because they find new bloggers to follow. This helps also, trust me.
- And if you leave a link and don’t follow me, how about ya show ole Danny some love?
- Call the mayor of your hometown and have him pronounce this weekend as the official weekend of the “Dream Big Meet n Greet!” This might take some persistence, but don’t you dare give…
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Eight years ago this week I gave birth to a little blue-eyed baby girl. It was the day my life changed, It was the day my life had meaning. It was the last day I would ever sleep normal. I would never trade it for the world. I will not go on and wax poetic about the wonders of motherhood. Others can do that a lot more eloquently then me. But about the life changing part, that is not something that could be expressed in words. Its really only felt. Before her I didn’t know what sacrifice was, what true joy was, what pure goodness was. A baby is all that and so much more.
Thinking about her birthday reminded me of something else. How flippin’ scared I was. I mean deathly, truly scared. Some crazy lunatic was entrusting me with a baby? Are they nuts? I was terrified and I took any and all advise as if it was the gospel for baby rearing.
“If they cry give them a little alcohol in the bottle.” ( Luckily, I never did that) “Only bad mothers let their baby cry,”” Here give your 6 month old a piece of melon,” (She promptly choked and I was horrified.)
Needless to say the advise comes at you from all angles and places. All ages and genders. Being a scared out of my mind new mom. I believed it all
Now I know this might upset people but this is how things happened for me. I was beaten over the head by the benefits of breast feeding.
“It’s more natural.””It’s healthier.” “It’s better for the baby.” “You have to breast feed.” “Only bad moms give their babies formula.”
After having my daughter I was determined to breast feed. I took the classes and read the books I was all set. But went the time came nothing happened. I had problem after problem.
The nurses and lactation specialist shoved the baby on me and almost demanded I keep trying. After taking her home me and my husband could not understand why she would never sleep and why she was constantly crying. I was trying to breast feed like everyone told me and I was failing. I called nurses, friends, parents looking for advice they all said keep trying. Finally, at my husbands insistence, we asked another doctor who said to try a little formula, see what happens. Get a pump and try that out.
What? But wouldn’t that mean I had failed as a mother. If it came from a pump? Or worse yet a can, does that mean I’m a bad mom? Isn’t breast feeding what my body was meant to do? Does that mean there is something wrong with me? The truth was I knew it wasn’t working. I knew the milk wasn’t coming out enough. I know it was not working.
I just felt so much pressure to breast feed. I felt like such a failure. My husband saved the day. I bought the formula, made the bottle and popped it in her tiny pink mouth. She sucked it down. Like a starving baby. Because that was what she was, a starving baby. After finishing the bottle she fell right asleep.
From that moment on I vowed to never ignore my instincts. Never to listen to the chattering of others over my own inner voice. I discover that day how important it is to trust your feelings and believe that you know what is best for your child. God (or who ever you believe in ) trusted you to care for this little being and gave you to tools to do it. If you just follow them.
I know you are all sick of pictures of cake, but I had so much fun making my daughter’s birthday cake I just had to post it.
So cool! I have been nominated for a Liebster Award. I want to thank Tanushree’s Delicacies for her kind words and nomination. Check out her blog for some great Indian recipes.
The award rules are:
- Thank the wonderful person who nominated you.
- Display the logo for the award.
- Nominate 10 other bloggers. (Due to time issues this week I will nominate 5)
- Answer the questions that the person who nominated you has set
1. Write about an achievement of yours you would love to share with the world.
So far, it is writing. I’m not quite there yet but hope I’m on my way.
2. What is your first reaction in/ how do you deal with crisis situations?
Set priorities. It helps me to figure out solutions.
3. Which is the item you can never leave your house without?
4. Who is your favorite fictional character?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, she’s a vulnerable ass-kicker. But now that I’m older probably Kate Conner. The mom version of Buffy from Julie Kenner’s book series
5. Name a holiday destination you would love to go with your loved one.
Would love to have Christmas in England with my family
6. What is the one thing you love about blogging?
Being able to connect with people. So have learned so much
7. If you were a comic/cartoon/disney character, who would you be?
I can’t pick just one, there are great qualities to so many.
The nominees are…
1) theartinpartyplanning ( really cool party idea! Love her business concept)
2) Beforesundown (Live life now don’t wait for tomorrow. Great idea)
3) ramonacrisstea (Beautifully designed fashions)
4)The Blog of Tony Burgess ( Daily bits of insight)
5) workingmominspiration (Great tips for the working mom)
These are blogs that have inspired me. Hope you check them out.
Here are my questions for you
1) What is your favorite move, and why?
2) What is the greatest gift you have ever received?
3) That is your idea of balance? (I am always curious what others think on this)
4) Where is the last place you vacationed and what did you learn there?
5) Since I love cookies what is your favorite type of cookie?
This weekend I had a total Mommy Fail. It was my daughter’s birthday party and one of her little friends was not being very nice to her. Apparently, this girl came into the party she was invited to, completely ignored my daughter and began talking to another friend.
Needless to say the party did not go as planned. Much of the food we ordered was brought out late or not at all. I was ill prepared to deal with the amount of kids that arrived. So I was a little on edge to start with. Well… here comes the bad part.
The little girl continued to ignore my daughter. I noticed she was not smiling or happy and I just assumed she was being moody and unappreciative. I took her to the bathroom and ask what was wrong. After asking her repeatedly, I lost patience and told her this would be the last birthday party she would have. I began to yell at her about her bad attitude and went off about how she was being ungrateful.
Soon after she talked to my husband and told him what had happened. I felt awful for her. I not only did her friend mistreat her. I yelled at her for it.Total mom fail. Granted I did not know what was transpiring, but if I had the patience to listen I would have found out and not blamed her.
I felt like the worst mom ever. The next morning I talked to my daughter about her “friend” and what it means to be a true friend. Then I apologized to her for my bad behavior. I was impatience and, in short, was not showing qualities of a good friend.
So what is there to do when you feel like you have failed as a mommy?
1) Realize you are human- We all make mistakes. Many women have this idea of the new age June Cleaver, Pinterest mommy that does it all, crafts, cooking, building a baby to a crescendo of perfection in a child. Well, that is fantasy. Call it a social media contrived fantasy, but it is just fantasy. We are human with our own faults, fobals and screwed up feelings. Realizing you are not perfect is a start.
2) Acknowledge your actions- I think it is important to for our kids to know that we might be mom, but we sometimes make mistakes, yell or do things wrong. We need to acknoledge our actions and that they might have hurt our children. We need to reaffirm to them that, just like everyone else, we make mistakes. By achnowledging our actions our children can learn a valuable lesson in personal responsibility.
3) Ask for forgiveness- Yes, ask for forgiveness from your children. It is important for our children to know that their feelings matter. If we are the source of thier hurt, by our mistake, we need to show we are truly sorry. They are kids, but they are important to us and by asking for forgiveness we are teaching them how important. What they think and how they feel matters and has value to us. We should show them me are truly sorry we have wronged someone we deeply care about. By modeling this example it will help to develop compassion, understanding and forgiven that they will need later in life.
That party was not only a lesson for her in choosing true friends. It was a lesson to me. In order to be a better mother I need to listen to my children. I need to not get caught up in the distractions and not worry so much about strangers and if they we’re eating and what they we’re thinking.
Yes, I totally had a Mommy Fail and I’m quite ashamed of it. The best I can do is learn from mistakes and be a better mom in the future. If you have had a Mommy (or Daddy) Fail, send me a comment and let me know how you handled it. Would love some encouraging words right now