Sometimes (ok pretty often) being a working mom can be overwhelming. We get to the point where we feel so full up with responsibilities and stuff to do that it feels like we are in a constant start of overflow. Always trying to catch-up… catch-up on housework, catch-up on “Work” work. Trying to be a god mom, be a good parent. We wear so many hats that our head hurts from switching among them so often.
Mom, mom, mom, mom
Me and my other friends who are working mothers have talked at great length about how tired we feel. I think this has generated from our biological wiring. Once our children are born our body changes and our brain becomes wired to detect the slightest sound of a baby in distress. This also comes along with and intense anxiety that begins in the battle to get enough sleep. Will I sleep enough to make it through the work day? Will I get enough sleep to care for my kids? If I fall asleep now I will only get 4 or 5 or 3 hours of sleep. Should I just try sleeping in my car on my lunch break?
I just want to go to sleep
As our children grow our new bat like ears pick up very sound inside our house. Pets walking across the floor, our spouse opening the fridge, a car driving loudly down the road. Every sound seems to steal restful sleep from us.
Being a working mother is almost like being between worlds. Mom’s have a desire, a want and even a need to be a homemaker and to create a loving, peaceful nurturing home for our family. ATo be home with our children, feeding them all the right nutritious foods (instead of mountains of Goldfish). We want to be the envy of our neighbors, with a well maintained home and tasteful furnishings (instead of a stained couch and messy floor.)
We want to still look like a 20-year old fashion model (in our mind) and have our kids properly (and cutely) dressed, (instead of wrinkled uniforms since you have no time to iron or put away the stuff in the dryer.) All too often life is too hectic and busy to present the home we envision in our brain. (Or get out of our sweat pants and mom jeans.)
We compare what we have to what others put forth but what we see is not always what is real. I know to make my house presentable for company me and my husband have to do a 6-hour marathon cleaning which is destroyed in less than an hour.
Yes, my house is a wreak most of the time. More often than not I feel overwhelmed. Like I am dropping the ball in so many places in my life. Then I think back to holding my baby in my arms and all the dirty laundry and work drama melts away. I savor the joy in sitting and reading with my son and none of the other stuff seems to matter. Being silly and laughing with my kids, capturing those small moments where I see them find joy in something.
Those times when they give me an impromptu hug. When they say, “mommy, I love you” and my heart melts along with all the stresses of the day. This is what makes it all worth it. Being a working mother is hard. It is really hard. Some days I feel like I’m completely failing. But there are these moments, so golden, pure and natural that I feel like being a mom was what I was always missing and in this messy house with these wonderful little beings is exactly where I am meant to be.
*Inbetweenmoderation is not affiliated with the church in this video. I just really liked the video)