Watching them grow…
Summers are full of sunshine, fun and free spirt but for me there is an edge of melancholy that accompanies summer. See, the summer months is when both my children where born. During these month there is so much growth not only signified by the new year to their age but also in physical, emotional and intellectual signals.
Seeing my son’s little legs grow long and spinally, watching my daughter devour books at am alarming rate. Listening as them both ask questions and interact with others, less like young child and more like a little adult.
It is a double sided coin this growing up thing. On the one hand I see this tiny little baby I use to snuggle stretch out almost before my eyes. Growing taller and changing on what seems like a daily basis. In my son I feel pride in seeing him accomplish things that he could not do last summer. There is also a sadness as the world of make believe becomes a little less real to him.
As for my daughter, I see her mature into a young girl with thoughts and a mind of her own which fills me with joy and amazement. I also see the new side of deception that apparently is normal for this age. Mostly I realize the things that I needed to do for them last year I no longer need to do. They are becoming self sufficient and can complete many things I use to do for them such as make a bowl of cereal or a PB&J sandwich.
As happy and proud as I am of these accomplishments, I am also sad and a little lost feeling. My mind starts to question things like “If I am no longer need by them, then who am I?”,
In taking on the role of mom we forget who we were before that title. That person was somewhere is our distant past. We can caught a glimpse of her in the rearview mirror as we drove away toward “mommyhood” and have seen her on a few occasions in during these years but for the most part she doesn’t visit much anymore.
She has been replaced by the yoga pant wearing, grocery store running, baby snuggling, amazing person we have grown into. Because the truth is we are pretty amazing, us mom’s. We are “leap tall buildings in a single bound amazing!” As a mom, we are powerful, important and the center of someone’s world. As my kids grow I sadly feel that importance fade a little.
[ctt title=”I know my kids still need me and will always need some part of their mom for encouragement, support and love.” tweet=”I know my kids still need me and will always need some part of their mom for encouragement, support and love.” coverup=”7qZd3″]
I know that this is part of the job of being a mom. Caring for them, teaching them, loving them so one day we can let them go and do the great things we have helped to nurture inside them. What me and other mom’s who feel like me, need to remember is it was never about us in the first place. It was always about them. Children are the seed. We only water them and maybe if we are lucky, help to bring them into the sunlight and get to watch them grow.