I’m still overdoing it. Lately, I have felt stretched to thin. It is totally of my own making however. Although, my intent this year was to simplify life and remove stuff (For example my big clean up.) I have found that when I made any room in my life, I felt an intense, almost subconscious, need to fill it. The universe hates a void and apparently so do I.
I started finally saying “no” to somethings and freeing up time. But have found I have replaced this with new things I have said “yes” to. It is good in a way, I have started down a path towards new adventures and new pursues. I dictate how I spend my time now instead of it being controlled by self-imposed obligations. I am doing what I want but I’m still doing too much of it.
We live in a world where busy is rewarded. Where productivity is king. Is it any wonder I am programed to be in constant motion? If you are standing still you are road kill. However, each time I do this…each time I swear I will not take on anything else. I will give myself some free time. I am compeled to fill it with activities. Since I have come to this realization I know I must cut back on things.
I have been examining my priorities lately. To try and figure out what aligns with them and what I have to let go of. I am not in my 20’s. I’m not a stay-at-home mom. I’m not single. I do not have the valuable commodity of ample time. My time has trade off’s. The more I spend on these other activities, the less I have to give to my children, my home, my family, myself.
Sometimes, I ignore that these trade off happen. I tell myself I can fit it all in. I can do it all, as the balance of life starts to slowly shift under my feet. I ignore the warning signs. Until one day I wake up so tried, worn, and stretched to thin. I am an addict of overdoing it. Addicted to busyness. I need a 12 step program.