In between overdoing it


This morning my heart broke. I wanted not to rush. Just for one morning not to have to speed along a conversation with my children. So, I took some extra time to talk with them and I loved it.

Mornings in my house are a coordinated dance. Each part must move on time to get the whole body in-line and out the door before the clock strikes 7:00 am. This morning I messed up that dance. By doing the harmless act of taking extra time to talk with my children, I set our morning routine back. This caused a cascading effect of putting me late to get ready, late to get out the door and late in getting some many other things done.

I did not have lunches made. I had to get gas in the car. I had to stop at the bank. The snowball effect of a few extra minutes spent talking to my kids created mass chaos and ultimately resulted in tardiness.

I think to myself, is this worth it? Is being a working mom worth this? Each day when I leave for work I morn the loss of time better spent with my kids. I’m tired of rushing out of the house. I’m tired of cutting off conversations with my kids because I have to go to work. I’m tired of getting home so late. I’m tired of feeling like a failure as a mom because I took another shortcut making dinner.

I know there are trade offs to staying at home vs. working. I know we would be missing out on other things like being able to afford vacations, having more credit card debt, having added financial stress. But someday, like today, I think I would like to trade stresses so I could be the mom I want to be instead of this frantic rushing mom. The failure mom I feel like today.

I want to see them grow up and talk with them at length without a time limit. I want to have a clean house, do crafts, play. The life of a working mom only allows for this in the “fringe” hours. If your job is rewarding or you have no commute maybe it can work better but lately I feel pulled in two directions. My heart is at home. So I wonder is being a working mom really worth it?Being-a-Mom-is-Hard-Quotes-3

This is kind of a rambling post, I was just feeling this today. So sorry if it seems overly emotional but it is a question I have grappled with since having children and some days it hits me particularly hard.

What are your thoughts? Is this a question that you have a hard time or have experience in? How did you and your spouse deal with this choice? If you are planning on having children how are you approaching this issue?


Comments on: "Is Being a Working Mom Worth It?" (11)

  1. For my son’s first 7 years of life, I worked outside of the home. That all changed when I got married a few years ago to a man with old-fashioned family values. Although I was hesitant to stop working and to stay at home, I finally did. And I must say, that my only wish is that I would have done it sooner. I have had so much more time to devote to my son, his learning, activities and to the home in general. There is no more “who does what chores, because we both worked all day” concerns between my husband and I. Our roles are evenly split, my son is happy and I don’t feel like I’m missing out on his life anymore. Kids grow up too fast and I’m really happy that I have this time with him now, before he’s gone and that opportunity goes with him. As for finances, we are still able to go on vacations (maybe not luxury resorts, but vacations nonetheless). We live in a nice home, have two nice vehicles, food, clothes…everything we *need*. People can adjust to whatever income they have. I think it’s just the fear that keeps them from doing so. With all that said however, you just need to do whatever you feel comfortable with. All families and situations are different. This is simply my thoughts on the matter.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for sharing your story. Yes you hit the nail on the head. Fear is definitely an issue. Personally I wish I had planned better so that was not the case. I greatly appreciate your perspective.


      • You’re welcome. Planning is certainly helpful. I hope that the right answer comes to you and that you find peace in whatever your final decision is. We only get one life to get it right. Wow…no pressure, right? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Being a working mom is hard! Originally, our plan was that I would work until we were financially set (that was supposed to happen this year) and then I would stay home with our daughter and write full-time but then my husband got cancer and has been out on disability. So, we got a new plan! I struggle with it every single day, but ultimately, we do what we have to for our families. I think no matter what choice we make, there will be parts of us that wish we were doing the opposite.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I can relate to this. Especially today with the little one home sick and me off to work. However, I was very briefly a stay at home mom with two kids in school. That was very frustrating. I knew I had skills and talents to share with the world, but my time was spent on things that did not require them. I did a lot of volunteer work (still do but slightly less), but found that volunteer work too often takes time away from your family anyway. It’s a job that you don’t get paid for and you feel under appreciated. Having a job takes a little pressure off the hubby, so maybe he can be more present and happy with the kids. They see mommy has a job and is productive outside the house too, and they learn to help a little bit around the house. There are many pros, but sometimes (like today) I wonder if it’s worth it too.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Melissa, that is so hard and it does not come with an easy answer. I pray you will find what is best for your family. Would you be happier if you could find some part time work so that every day was not a pressure situation? I know you watch your finances. Have you ever calculated how much extra you spend because you work?

    All the best, I am sure you are a good mom anyway.
    Blogger’s Pit Stop

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for your sentiment. It is hard and some days I struggle with it but as it stands right now, financially the trade offs would sacrifice to much of our future. I have a five year plan in place to leave full-time work so I just have to wait it out. But right now some days I just want to stay home.


  5. At the moment I am at home with my son, but that is due to a disability not through choice. I love my son, but I love it when he is a school just to give me a break. The best way we found was that my partner worked days and I worked nights, this was good for us as parents bad for us as a couple

    Liked by 1 person

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