In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Decisions, Decisions.”
Five years ago today at 10:26 am my almost 9 pound baby boy came into the world. It seems interesting to me that todays prompt was about decisions. The decisions to have a second child didn’t feel like a decision at all. It felt like a need in me. My son was already formed in my mind’s eye before I was even pregnant.
For me, I felt the decision long before I actually made the decision. At the time, it was only a feeling, a part of me that dreamed of this other baby in my life. Did I know he would look like me? No. Did I know he would be a ball of energy that people are drawn to like the sun? Nope. Did I know that he would capture my heart in a completely new and different way. Not at all. All I knew was that I made a decision within me that he would be.
In order to have a second child however, a cascade of other decisions had to come first. Would I be able to sell my small home and get one that would accommodate my growing family? Would I remain in good health and have a successful pregnancy? Would I be able to take the time off of work? Would my family and my daughter be ok with the new addition? How would our life change?
But the main decision was one I had already made in my heart. In my heart, I knew everything would work out… it would all fall into place. Things would come together to make my boy, my Jack, a reality, a gift from God.
In truth, I know the decision was not solely mine. It was with the blessing of another. (If your not religious insert whatever entity you believe in here) As much as I would will it. I know ultimately, it was Gods decision. I was given a gift, decided by a higher power, confirmed in my heart.
I have been blessed to have my little buddy, to watch him grow over the past five years. My son has given my a new perspective on things. To not take things so serious and emotional. To have more fun. His boundless energy has helped me to achieve more and make the decision to find more joy in everyday. Just like he does.
We make decisions large and small everyday. But sometimes it is good to realize some decisions we make in our hearts before we know it and some are really made for us. Having my son was one of the best “decisions” I have ever been lucky enough to make.