In between overdoing it

Never doubt in the power of change. I mean it is always happening. People grow and change. Since I have ventured on this journey for balance I left a key component out. It was the person I use to be. The person I was before kids. Part of what started me on this journey for balance was recovering the person I was and finding what my life’s purpose might be.

I have heard that phase a lot lately. in books, podcasts, on TV. I feel this is something I have been searching and I’m sure so  many other people as well. To me it felt like a big empty space I had no idea how to fill. What was I ment to do.

When I first got out of college I loved what I was doing but was unsure if it was what I was ment to do. SInce then I traded in something I liked doing for a paycheck that afforded me to live above the poverty line. Although,t I hated what I did. (I hated it so much I would wish for a car accident so I didn’t have to go to work), it paid really well. At that time I wanted to get married and start a family. So I took jobs that we’re not totally “me” but would allow me to pursue this aspect of my life.  I was fine with it while I focused on my family.

Over the past year some of the pieces of my life’s purpose have revealed themselves (I think?) I started writing again. I have kind of fallen into a business. However, the puzzle is not complete. I have begun to feel the need to explore the person I was before.  Starting this blog and having a place to pour out my thoughts has helped my realize that I might need to reconnect with this person.

The past few months have brought about several changes for me both internally and external. My children are growing up, I can no longer hide behind “mommyhood” and push away the feeling that there is something else I should be. I need to connect with what made me well…me, instead of what made me just mom. straight-road-1558349

I have read somewhere that to find what you where ment to do, look at what you liked to do as a child. I will be traveling back to my hometown soon. Where I grew up. I have not been there in over 8 years. Before my Dad passed away, before most of my childhood friends moved on.  I know I will see so much change when I get there, but I think it is time to revisit the past so I can embrace the future.

I appeal to you for help and guidance. Is there a point in your past that holds the clues to who you were ment to be? How have you found a way to balance your past self with your present pursuits? Leave me a comment because I would love to hear your story.

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